April 26th

It was exactly 3 years ago yesterday that we first made the decision to adopt, and exactly one year ago yesterday that we met Andrew for the first time.

We went back and reread our blog entry from the day we met Andrew. It's funny the things you remember, and the things you forget. We are so thankful that we took the time to write out the details of that moment. It is amazing to see how different we were even then, and how God's grace and provision have changed us forever.

Odds and Ends We've Been Meaning to Write About

Seeking Counsel

We are so thankful to have a church family that supported us in our adoption. There are several families that have adopted as well. A couple months before we travelled to pick up Andrew we took one couple out to dinner and gave them total freedom to "wreck" all our false expectations about bringing an adopted child into our home. "The wounds of a friend are faithful" and we trusted their input completely. They were very encouraging and even gave us articles to read concerning attachment and other adoption related issues. It is such a blessing to have people like this in our lives.



Home School

One piece of advice that was offered was to lower our expectations for home-schooling the other children when Andrew came home. Initially we shut down school for several weeks. We gradually worked our way back on track but still we have drastically downsized the amount of material covered. It has been a juggling act with 4 kids in 4 different grades and a 4 year old looking for something to do. When he sees the others get their books out, he grabs his notebook and crayons saying "Andrew school?" He is not mischievous and into things, but he does get bored and interrupts. Many times throughout the day Jen hears, "Andrew hungry", "Andrew color" or some other jibberish just wanting to be heard.


Language

We can see his frustration with the language, as many times he will just blurt out made up words just to be a part of the conversation. He will even call someone's name just to get their attention but then just says "Um, um, um" His big achievement around New Year's was that he began speaking in sentences. It all started with us showing pictures to the grandparents and suddenly we heard Andrew say, "This is Cora, this is Rachel" as he pointed to each person in the picture.

Just in the last few weeks he's begun replacing his name with "I" or "Me". Although many times he still speaks in the third person.


Travel

Just after Christmas we travelled 18hrs to Massachusetts and New York to visit extended family that had not yet met Andrew. We were thrilled not to have to deal with his anxiety vomiting in the back seat. He seems now to understand that we will always return home. It looks as if that phase has passed.


Dentist

Andrew did have some major tooth decay, most of which was not too noticeable. However, the dentist did feel that it would be good to fill them to avoid future pain since he will have some of the teeth for another 5-6 years. His first visit went well and the dentist was able to fill a few teeth in one quarter of his mouth. Unfortunately, on the second visit, Andrew remembered the previous visit too well and wasn't able to sit still knowing what was coming.

Early February, we took him to be sedated in order to have the remainder of his teeth filled. Jen held him while they sedated him and then had to wait in the other room for 2hrs. They called her when he began to come to. An assistant quickly carried Andrew to the van, handed her a sheet of instructions and sent them on their way. It was one awful hour long ride home with Andrew screaming and flailing as much as the seatbelt would allow. An hour after being home, the sedatives were still making it hard for him to keep his balance. He had a little pain in his teeth at dinner and breakfast the next morning, but after that our little trooper acted like nothing ever happened.


Pediatrician

Andrew finally visited the pediatrician in January. She didn't have much to say. All his blood work looked good. He did need to catch up on a few shots which meant 3 in January and 4 more last week. He didn't like them at all and screamed quite a bit, but quieted down before we left the office. Again, he's a trooper and didn't act like anything was wrong after we left. We did assure him that he would not have anymore shots for a long time. Now when someone says "doctor", Andrew says, "no more shots". The big thing we're waiting on is a visit with a neurologist to see what they think stateside about Andrew's hydrocephalus. Our pediatrician's office got a visit set up for us in Atlanta on the 28th of this month. We'll keep you posted.

Attachment

It has been almost 6 months since we took Andrew out of the orphanage for good. He is adjusting so well and is definitely attached to us. However, we have only gone out and left him with Jen's sisters a couple of times for a couple of hours. We still do not send him to Sunday school class and don't plan on it until the Fall. He turns 5 in the summer and can go to class with his siblings in September when they switch out the classes.

Maybe we're over protective, but we can still see a change in his attitude towards us when we have left him or even when we have large gatherings. We even noticed a little attitude in him during church on Sunday mornings if we didn't hold his hand coming into the building. These attitudes were extremely mild and not noticeable to others, but we could sense them. For the time being we feel that it is beneficial for him to stick with mommy and daddy. We were the same way with all the others their first year of life, so why do it any differently for Andrew.

Diapers

Andrew came potty trained. What a huge blessing!!! However, he does wear a diaper at night. Somehow he can sleep through anything and doesn't wake up to use the potty. We even have to have him in a diaper for car rides over a couple of hours because there is a good chance he will fall asleep and wet. We have been prepping him that when he turns 5 and stays dry all night he won't have to wear diapers anymore. He gets so excited, especially when you tell him that he'll be like Tobin and will be able to wear underwear to bed. Aaron's big chant that the kids still use today, "No more diapers, pee pee on the potty!!!!!" worked for the other 4. We'll keep you posted.

Prepping the kids

Before leaving to bring Andrew home we sat down with the kids and talked about what life might look like with a new brother. We told them for a season everything we did would revolve around Andrew and bringing him into our family. He would have to adapt to us as well, which would take time. We told them that they may feel neglected at times but we encouraged them to talk to us about it. At the same time we as parents saw this as a great opportunity to walk alongside our children and help them "consider others better than [themselves]"Phillipians 2:3

We went out to eat one night and a woman asked our daughter, Rachel, if the boys were twins. Without missing a beat she replied, "No, they're 10 months apart." The look on her face was priceless. She then asked if they were all siblings. Again Rachel matter of factly said,"Yes." Now her husband had a look."How do you manage?" he asked. We told him that somedays we don't.

What impresses us is that it never occurs to our children to mention that Andrew has been adopted.

We also explained to the kids that at first, Andrew would not be disciplined the same and it might appear to them as if he were getting away with everything. We told them that discipline would change as our relationship with Andrew grew. Today Andrew is "loved "to the same measure as his older siblings.

Shoes

A tiny tidbit that worked for us concerning the shoe issue with most adopted children: Andrew wanted his shoes on all the time, which wasn't a problem in Bulgaria. However, we do not wear shoes in our house. Knowing this might be a problem, we bought Andrew slippers as soon as we got home. This way he could have inside and outside shoes. It worked! It actually worked so well that within a matter of days he didn't even bother to wear his slippers and went stocking footed around the house. We don't know if it will work for others, but figured we would make mention of it anyway.

I love you

For the first few weeks of bringing Andrew home we would say, "obicham te" and he would respond back "obicham te". After that we started to say "I love you" and he would respond back with something that sort of sounded like "I love you". While this was amazing and brought joy to our hearts this past week we cannot express the new emotions that came when Andrew said on his own, without prompting, "I love you". This just happened last week when one night he said it to Jen and the next night to Aaron. The third night at dinner, again without prompting, and having nothing to do with the converstaion he said, "I love mommy, daddy."

We love our son more than words can express and are so thankful to God for bringing him into our family.

Sofia - The History of Europe | София - Историята на Европа

Here is a glimpse of the capital city, Sofia in Bulgaria. This is where our son Andrew's orphanage was located. We were able to see all but one of the buildings in this video as well as many others. Enjoy!!!!

2 months home and readoption

It has been just over 2 months since Andrew has come home. In the last month we realized that it feels like Andrew has always been here. Sometimes we think he feels that way too. The other day he was looking through some old pictures and came across one of the other 4 kids. After studying it for a while he looked at Jen and questioningly said, "Andrew?" He was confused as to why he was not in the picture.

Last month we travelled to Hilton Head Island for a short weekend trip and about an hour into the drive Andrew began moaning in the back seat. Jen turned around to check on him trying to find out what was wrong. She finally got out of him that his belly hurt. We tried to pull over but did not make it in time. We realized that the last time we packed everything up and left early in the morning was when we came home from Bulgaria. Oops. Although nothing momentous took place that weekend we noticed an immediate change in Andrew's overall attitude. It seemed like Andrew had really connected with us and now was truly a part of our family in his own mind.

A few weeks later we headed out to Gatlinburg, TN for a short family weekend. This time we talked about where we were going and how we would come back home. He seemed to understand, but apparently he still got anxious and ended up throwing up just as we got into town. No warning signs again. Hopefully, our 18 hour ride up north after Christmas will go a little more smoothly.

Both trips he did completely fine on the way back home. So, it definitely is not a car sickness thing.

We did have an opportunity this past weekend to go to Christmas party, which meant leaving all the kids with Auntie Jessie and Uncle Craig for a few hours in the evening at our home. We didn't have any idea how Andrew would react since it was the first time he would have mommy and daddy gone at the same time. He loves our extended family and we were not worried about him other than wondering if he would be too o.k. with us gone. We were relieved the next morning when we went in his room and saw that he had thrown up in the night. It sounds weird, but knowing that this is how he deals with anxiety, we were happy to know it was not all o.k. to him that we were gone for the evening.

He is bonding so well. Once in a while we do deal with a bit of an attitude from Andrew towards Jen. He decides for a moment that he doesn't want anything to do with mommy and only daddy. So, Aaron takes these opportunities to teach his son not to be rude and to respect his mommy. Occasionally, there ends up being some discipline involved. It's hard on Jen and even Aaron during these moments, but they are far and few between.

It has taken 2 months to get Andrew covered with our state medicaid program. So, we have yet to visit our pediatrician. The week after Christmas we will be able to see her. In the meantime, we have been able to visit the dentist. Unfortunately for Andrew, all the candy he got for being the favorite or to keep him from throwing fits has caused him a mouthful of cavities. Good news is that they are all baby teeth. He loved the dentist and could not wait for his turn. He still wants to go back even after having a quarter of his teeth filled on the second visit. We get to go back this week to get another quarter filled. His teeth are not black, which we were happy about, but you can see the decay. Since he could lose his teeth in a year, the dentist is not sure as to whether or not to fill the front teeth, but he said we had enough to start with before we decide that.

Well, here is the news so many have waited to hear. We've been asked, "Last we knew you needed a few thousand dollars more and then next we knew you were flying to get Andrew. What happened?"

As God would have it, on the day we were flying out to get Andrew from Bulgaria we called home to have one last check of our email before our long flight across the ocean. There it was - an email from Gift of Adoption stating that we had been awarded a grant in the amount of $3,500. God had provided exactly what we needed as we needed it. He had covered all $36,000 that it took to bring our son, Andrew home!!!!! Thank you, Jesus!!! There we were in the middle of the Chicago airport amazed at our God, Provider.

Obviously, we had to put the plane tickets on a credit card to order them, but fully expected God to provide the money. We have been waiting for the grant money to come through so we haven't mentioned it publicly until now. We got the credit card bill and then one day last week we received the grant check and were able to pay the bill.

This past Monday, December 13th we went to the courthouse in town and readopted Andrew stateside. No, we did not have too, but we had already run into a few problems with medicaid and could only imagine what other things in the future might be a problem. We had a lawyer friend take care of the legalities and we had enough adoption funds left to pay all expenses for this last step as well. God is faithful until the end!!!

So now the chapter on bringing Andrew home is closed. This next chapter will be full of new adventures as we live life with Andrew. At the start of our journey we committed not to go into debt to fund the adoption. We knew that if adoption was the path that God wanted us on then He would provide every penny. When things got down to the wire, we found assurance in the fact that if we took out a loan to pay for any part of this it would be our doing, but if God came through we would have nothing to boast in except His faithfulness.

We are truly blessed!! And, yes, we do have our hands full with 5 kids!!!!!

1 Month Home

We had our 1 month post-placement visit today. All interaction with our case worker, Cathy, from An Open Door has been over the phone, with the exception of a brief moment at our Welcome Home Rally at the airport. So, we enjoyed spending time with her in person today.

It's hard to believe that it has already been a month since we brought our son home. Our time in Bulgaria seems like a distant memory. And who was that child we had with us?


Our Sashko has decided that he now enjoys being called Andrew. Jen would ask him (in Bulgarian) what his name was and he would answer, "Sashko". Then she would ask him again and then answer for him, "Andrew?". Every time she did this he would giggle and smile. She did this a few times about a week and a half ago and let it be. The next day at lunch he pointed to himself and told his siblings "Andrew!". So we decided we would start to call him Andrew. Almost immediately we noticed an overall improvement in his attitude.

While we will not keep him from his Bulgarian roots, it seems that a "clean break" for the moment is better during this time of transition. Even pictures from Bulgaria or speaking too much Bulgarian seems to confuse him and cause him to disengage from us. We do have tons of mementos from the country and orphanage that we will tuck away for now and save for a more appropriate time.

Fits and tantrums have completely subsided. Meal time is no longer a hassle. As a matter of fact, when we sit down to dinner, Andrew will push his milk aside and start eating immediately. He will actually ask for permission before he takes a sip.

While Andrew is not at all shy (in fact he's quite a flirt!), he now looks to us before greeting extended family members and friends.

It's amazing how quickly Andrew has learned English. He does understand most everything we say. We will ask him a question in English and often he will respond in Bulgarian. When he hears us say certain words in English, like "more", he repeats the word in Bulgarian, "oshti". He has been using many English words and phrases; he copies us all the time.

We have decided to re-adopt Andrew stateside while everything is fresh in our memory and paperwork has not been lost. We have a court date set for December 13th. It has been a little tricky trying to get insurance coverage for him due to the specific documents they are looking for. We figure there will only be more headaches in the future and re-adopting will eliminate those.

We did the math before we started the adoption, but didn't realize how big a family of 7 was until we got them all together! Or how fun!

When we realized that we would be bringing him home soon, we made preparations to have many of our responsibilities delegated out until after Christmas. It really has been one of the best things we did for our family. Nightly wrestle matches, story times, and horsey rides have been great not only for Andrew but also for our other 4. They have done remarkable during this time of adjustment as well. We are so proud of their sacrifice, prayer, faith, and hard work throughout this entire adoption journey. Now that Andrew is home we are amazed at their selflessness, care and love. There is no difference to them, Andrew has always been one of us.

Travelling Home!

Waiting in Sofia airport at 4:30 a.m. and lollipops for all take-off and landings.

Walking around Frankfurt airport for a 3 hour layover and falling asleep only a half hour before boarding.

Car ride home from the airport. No issues with the seatbelt. Yay!!!

Day 7, Day 8 and Day 9

Hanging around the apartment and the infamous door.

Views of Sofia from the top of the National Palace of Culture.

Hadjidraganov's Houses http://www.kashtite.com/index_en.html

Toy camera and toy phone were the best toys we brought.


Sashko loves shower time.