Finding Joel a family

This past Spring we were made aware of a little boy named, Joel.  He lives in an orphanage in Albania and needs a family to call his own.  He is just over 2 years old and absolutely adorable.  Our friends, Nathan and Cydil Waggoner, adopted 2 of their children from Albania and are in the process of raising the funds to move to Albania as missionaries.  They were able to meet Joel in 2010 when they went to bring their son home and again in February of 2012 when they went on a scouting trip for their missionary journey. The primary caretaker of the Waggoner's son has now made it her mission to find Joel a family and has asked the Waggoners to help in this mission.  For more information and pictures of Joel please vist the  The Waggoner's blog. 

Spring Happenings

The first half of the year went by without any other major incidents like what we had in the previous post.  In March, we went to Gatlinburg for the weekend. We stay at a timeshare but Andrew always calls it "the big house".  Our kids enjoy exploring and learning about "the olden days" so visiting the settler's houses is always a must, second only to swimming in the pool.

During March and April the boys played ball.  Unfortunately, due to their birthdates Tobin had to be put on a prep-ball team and Andrew was put on a T-ball team.  The good news was that their younger cousin, Sadie could be on the team with Andrew.  Andrew was so excited to play T-ball and cannot wait to be on a prep-ball team with his brother in the Spring.  The boys games were on the same night, one after the other with about an hour in between games, so we packed dinner every night and enjoyed it together as a family at the baseball field.  Some people ask how we can afford to go on vacation and one of the reasons is because we hardly ever eat out. 

One night a couple of the girls and Andrew were bored at Tobin's game, so they found an empty warm-up pen and tried to play with a bat and ball.  Next thing you know, Jen hears Andrew's scream and knew something was wrong.  Andrew came running over and by the time he got to Jen(only seconds) he had a bump in the middle of his forehead between his eyes the size of an egg, no exagerating.  Turns out he walked right into the aluminum bat as his sister was swinging.

Jen scrambled around trying to find someone with a cooler so she could put ice on Andrew's enormous mound.  Andrew ended up being completely fine except that for the next week he had a bump with a bruise, which then turned into a scab for several weeks. To this day it is a faint red spot.  He keeps asking when his bump will go away.

Living in the middle of the National Forest, 2 miles in, on a dead end road has it's disadvantages.  Apparently, people think it's a great place to free their unwanted animals.  Being a family with many kids in a neighborhood of not many kids, most strays find their way to our yard.  In May we picked up 3 sweet little German Shorthaired puppies playing in the road, obviously malnourished from being recently dropped off.  Animal control would not come since it was a Friday, so we kept them for the weekend and of course, the kids fell in love.  We have one Alpha male dog already, so we decided to keep the female.  We brought the 2 brothers to a foster home for dogs sponsored by the Humane Society. 

Even though we were keeping one of the puppies, our kids were really upset about giving up the other two.  It may seem strange, but we were really encouraged to see Andrew grieve over this loss.  To us it showed that he was in a good place emotionally.  Just this past week, our puppy(4 1/2 months old now) unexpectedly passed.  Again, we got to see him process his sadness with many tears.

We went camping in June with family and friends.  We went to our favorite spot in the woods, a small hike in to a campsite surrounded on 3 sides by a creek. It doesn't have a strong current so its perfect for children of all ages to wade in.  It's full of rocks and wildlife so it makes for a kids' paradise.

The creek turns into a waterfall that flows into the Chattooga River.  There's a small beach area by an edy for the smaller kids to play. Some of us swam out with the older kids and explored the rocks across the river.  Andrew absolutely loves water, so again another great trip for him. 

Long over due

In real life we often tell people we meet or long distance friends not to worry if they don't hear from us, we're just low maintenance kind of people.  When we meet again, we'll just pick up where we left off!  So here we are picking up where we left off- January 2012!

The above video is Andrew doing school. It was halfway through the school year and shows a sampling of his progress in speech and learning.  As we mentioned in the previous post, we had decided to post pone school for him, but he insisted.

About this same time we had some guest speakers come to our church. We had them over to lunch on Saturday. They were great. As soon as they entered our home, they jumped right in with the kids playing on the Wii and really took time to make them feel important.  At this point we felt Andrew had attached very well and were not at all concerned about him interacting with strangers.  As Aaron left to bring our guests home Andrew asked to go with him. No big deal.  One of the speakers sat in the back with Andrew and let him play with his cell phone.  Andrew showed no signs of past behavior that would alert us. 

The next morning after our service ended, we saw Andrew sitting in the same speakers lap, playing with his phone! Aaron discreetly called Andrew to him and held his hand until we headed home.  We felt we had averted a relapse.  However that afternoon we decided to watch a movie together as a family for some down time. All the kids piled on us on the couch except Andrew. We said,"Andrew, come cuddle with your family."  Shockingly, he responded,"You're not my family. I want to go back to Bulgaria."

We had never heard anything remotely close to this.  Having no idea how to respond, Aaron replied, "Well go ahead, go back to Bulgaria."  Andrew shook his head no and immediately climbed up on the couch with us all.  We have never dealt with anything like that since. 

We have found it helpful before coming into new situations that might trigger similar responses to ask Andrew who his family is.  We specifically ask ,"Who is your mommy?,Who is your daddy?", etc. and have him answer us. We're not sure if this is the key to anything, but again we haven't seen this behavior since.

Over a year home

We've been meaning to update the blog since Gotcha Day, September 23rd. 

We have been keeping busy.  Jen has been diligent homeschooling the kids.  We did not have intentions of doing school with Andrew this year.  He still seems to be a little behind in his language and we thought it might be too much.  However, Andrew had other plans for himself.  He wants to do whatever his siblings do, not to mention, he is self motivated.  So, Jen quickly threw together a few things. 

So far, Andrew has learned all his shapes (even ones his older siblings didn't know), he recognizes numbers up to 10 and can count to 39 with a little help, plus he begged to learn how to write his own name.  Now he knows the names of the letters in his name too, plus "c" for Cora, "r" for Rachel, "t" for Tobin and "h" for Haley.  Andrew knows his colors too and loves to color. 

His favorite part of the day is "Jesus Time".  The first half hour to hour of every school day is started with some quiet time to pray and read and draw with Jesus.  Jen prays a small prayer to start and then everyone spends time with Jesus either by reading the Bible (the girls who can read) or by drawing pictures (the boys).  When everyone is done with that they all take a turn praying.  Andrew asks most nights if we'll have "Jesus Time" when we wake up.  He loves to pray.  All he knows of prayer now is "thanky for...." and then he fills it in with just about anything.  Most of the time it's "thanky for church, for daddy work, for van, for house..."  Every now and again it's "thanky for Tobin bleed" after Tobin gets hurt.  I guess he knows better than the rest of us how to be thankful in all things.

One of the things we've realized over the past year is just how much we've missed with him.  It's mostly the little things in training that we don't think of.  Like how its not appropriate to write on cars with rocks (No really. Its a good thing Aaron works in auto restoration.).  Of course we also see it in his understanding about who Jesus is. 

Although it was encouraging this past week ; Jen told Andrew to go sit on his bed when he was misbehaving during school.  She was going to deal with him as soon as she could get the others started on their work.  She heard talking in his room and had the other kids keep quiet so she could listen.  Jen heard him talking to Jesus and saying Amen.  He then yelled out, "Mommy, I'm all done."  His attitude had changed.
Andrew does not remember much prior to being with us.  He thinks we were there in Bulgaria with him in the orphanage.  He really does not remember much from there other than what he sees in pictures.  We ask questions, but haven't gotten much out of him.  The most he's remembered is "going downstairs with a small mug with black in it with the Doctor".  He remembered this one night while we were eating soup and there happened to be a coffee mug on the table at the same time.  So, as you can see we haven't gotten much out of him.


Andrew has had one minor cold for a short couple of days since being home.  We have had no issues with his hydrocephalus.  He is a healthy boy.  He is growing in height, but not weight.  He eats well and loves fruits and vegetables the most.  His favorite foods are tomatoes and apples.  We do not eat fast food very often, but he doesn't like it when we do.  Although he does love candy, cookies and soda.


Andrew was potty trained when he came home and has stayed that way.  For several months he wore diapers at night, but once the box ran out, he wanted to be a big boy like Tobin.  He wet at night quite a bit in the beginning and we would not make a big deal of it and just wash the sheets a lot.  We woke him up every night, but he'd still wet.  Then he seemed to stay dry for quite some time and we thought we were in the clear.  It wasn't too long and he was wetting again. We know he's only 5 and that boys do tend to wet at this age, so we don't make a big deal of it and still wake him once before we go to bed.  Plus he never seemed that bothered by it. However, we do believe there may be some connection to his emotional state.  We have noticed that he wets the most when he seems to have several days in a row with a little bit of attitude or when there has been several changes in our schedule.  Over the last month he has started to get upset about it and tells us he is sad when his bed is not made because the sheets are in the wash.


Andrew is occasionally scared people will get him.  We let him know we are his mommy and daddy and will take care of him and keep him safe.  One night Jen told him that if somebody tried to come and get him that daddy would fight him.  He seemed very content with that answer.  If he says somebody might get him we ask him what will happen and he says, "Daddy fight them."  He still doesn't like to be in bed without Tobin in the room, so when Tobin comes out to tell us something or go potty, Andrew comes out of the room as well if he's awake. 

Dear Gift of Adoption: 2011

We were blessed with 3 different grants through our adoption journey. One was from our church Grace Covenant Fellowship, one from Showhope and another from Gift of Adoption. The video was put together by Gift of Adoption in order for them to raise money for future grants. Our story is the last one. Enjoy!!!


This month is Gotcha month and it is amazing to think that it has almost been a year since Andrew left the doors of the orphanage forever.  Andrew is doing so well.  We have had such tangible moments of seeing his attachment. 


We had a dinner to go to in August, but none of our family was available to watch the kids.  Up until that point we have only allowed family to watch Andrew.  We ended up having a friend watch the kids.  The older 4 knew her, but she was a stranger to Andrew. 


We explained as best we could to him who was watching him and how we'd be home while he was sleeping.  He didn't seem to mind.  We weren't sure how he would react and thought that he might try to get really cute with her, sit in her lap and that there could be a bit of manipulation. 


There had also been a few times in the month before where Andrew would go get something that wasn't his without asking and decide it was his to play with.  So obviously we were concerned that he may try and pull something while we were out.


We arrived home and came in to the living room.  Immediately Andrew came over and sat down right next to her.  Then Jen picked him up to show Andrew something and he clung to her and wouldn't let go.  Our friend said he did totally fine and didn't do either of what we thought.


Just to help explain what is so amazing about this night, Andrew is not a cuddly kid.  He lets us hug him and kiss him, but he never iniates affection.  If we're watching a movie and try to cuddle him he will shrug you off.  A few days before this night Jen was talking about how she really could use some affection from our son iniated by him.  Here it was.  God knew what she needed and he gave it to her. 


The next night Jen went out before bed time, so Aaron put the kids to bed without her and Andrew cried for mommy.  He has never done that before.

Since that week Andrew has been very cuddly.  He will walk up to one of us and just lean on us looking for love.  He asks to be picked up and wants to be in our laps cuddling while being read to.  We're thanking God for all He has done.  It is so wonderful to see your child feel more and more safe and more and more a part of the family.


A few weeks later Jen was putting some old pictures on Shutterfly.  They were from 2009 before Andrew was home or known.  Whenever he sees pictures of the 4 other kids without him he asks where he is.  We always explain to him that he was in Bulgaria and we were trying to find him.  That he was in another mommy's belly and how she couldn't take care of him, but that God brought us to him. 


This time he looked at Jen and said,"I don't want to do that again."  Jen understood what he meant.  Then he said, "I don't want to go there again," meaning the orphanage.  She assured him he would never go there again.  This was another big change.  Usually he sees pictures from Bulgaria and says that he wants to go there, but apparently those days are over.  He now wants to be here with his family.


It is amazing to think about how our biological children go through these same phases, but of course they're suttle and we hardly notice them.  With Andrew we're able to see drastic changes, literally within a day's time, and it fill our hearts with joy.

Referral picture and some extras

Here is our only baby picture (left) of Andrew given to us with about 15 other pictures from the orphanage.  The picture on the right is our first glimse of Andrew (our referral picture).  What a precious little boy, our son.  We saw the life in him through his eyes and knew he was ours at first glance.

We used An Open Door Adoption Agency here in Georgia.  We were super impressed with this agency as we have stated numerous times.  We had an opportunity to write up a testimonial for their website and wanted to share it.  To see our testimonial click here (We're the second one down under Andrew).

Family National Association is the Bulgarian side to our adoption agency.  Click here to see their homepage.  If you scroll to the bottom you will see our pictures on their home page.  Click on Photos/Reviews at the top of the page to read our review (first one under Review for USA)  as well as see our pictures (under Photos for USA).  We were very impressed with this agency.  They also have a section listing special needs children that they have access to written in English.  A long way down on the list is the number for our son and next to it is written ADOPTED along with many others.  It brings joy to our heart to see this.

Last, but not least, here is some fun video our boys.  They love music and play their guitars most every day.  By the way, Andrew is singing to God and saying "Send your power".  Yes, it sounds like shampoo, but we hear it often.  Some days it is easier to understand than others.  This is Andrew's favorite song to sing.  He made it up one day while he and Tobin were playing "worship".

Summer Events and Birthday Boy!!!

Friday, July 15th was Andrew's 5th birthday. It was his first birthday home with his forever family. After being home about 4 months and watching as others in the family had birthdays, he's been counting down until it was his. Finally the day arrived. We had one family over to celebrate on the actual day since some of our family is out of town and we won't have a big family party until later in the month.

On our Gotcha Day, we were given about 15 pictures of Andrew. Some of them included pictures of his 2nd, 3rd and 4th birthdays. His hair is always done crazy in these pictures. We were told that there was one woman who really liked his hair that way, so they would do it up for his birthdays. We call it "crazy hair" when we look at the pictures with him. So, when his day finally came he asked for "crazy hair" and we were more than willing to accommodate.

It has been almost 10 months since we brought Andrew out of the orphanage. Since the last time we blogged he has grown another inch, but only gained a half of pound if that. So, our big 5 year old is now 42 1/2" tall and about 32.6 lbs. He's only about 4 lbs. lighter than our smallest at 5 years old. So, he's definitely a Santor.

We just had our post placement this week. Our caseworker is heading to Latvia and had to get this done in time to send it off to Bulgaria for translation. Since it will be one year the end of September.

We did a lot of travelling the month of June. Our first weekend was spent with Aaron's family in Tybee Island for a family reunion while his sister was here for her R&R (she's deployed with the army). We spent the weekend with all 13 cousins on Aaron's side. The oldest being Cora at 10. Yep, a lot of little ones. Andrew really loves his cousins and aunts and uncles.

His first trip to the ocean was back in November '10 right after we got him home. He tripped and fell just as an inch of water washed up around him. Overwhelmed, he shrieked until we picked him up. The water this time at Tybee was stronger. Andrew went right in the water and played around in it for quite a while. We have a brave little guy with hardly any fears.


The following weekend we headed up to NY and MA to visit our families. Another round of seeing grandparents, great grandparents (there are 6 of them), aunts, uncles and more cousins (on Jen's side). Usually we drive through the night and while Andrew is no longer vomiting on car rides, he still seems a bit uneasy through the night. He yells, cries and kicks all in his sleep while we drive. However, he did not do any of it this trip. It is so exciting to see how well he is attaching and adjusting just in these little things.

While we were in NY, Jen's cousin generously offered to take the kids rock climbing. We all had a great time and it was yet another new adventure for Andrew. He didn't quite get the hang (pun intended) of climbing without clinging to the rope but he had a blast asking "Please more." He kept wanting to go higher. He did great until we asked him to rappel back down. He took a few steps back and panicked. He clung to the rope with both hands. More shrieking. Now all he could scream was "Please go home!" We eventually worked him down, and of course he immediately wanted to go back up.

We were gone for about 10 days and the following weekend went on a camping trip. It was Andrew's first time, but he looked like such a pro. All the kids like to walk around in the woods at night with their flashlights. It's kids only and they call it a "night hike". Well, Andrew joined right in. At home he seems a little afraid of the dark. He won't go to the bathroom in our room if the lights are out and he doesn't like to go to bed unless Tobin is in there and the closet light is on. Here in the woods he didn't seem to notice the dark, even when we put the kids in the tent to go to bed without us.

We were able to go swimming at the lake as well. This is the only place we've seen him be somewhat afraid of water. He loves the pool whether he can reach the bottom or not. The ocean was no big deal. Playing in the river was a blast. He begs for a bath most every day and pours buckets of water over his head and has learned to hold his breath underwater. The only thing we can figure is that it was murky lake water and he couldn't see the bottom.

The next weekend was the 4th of July, so we headed up to Helen, GA. We spent the entire day there going tubing down the Chattahoochee River, grilling out, playing in the river and then watching the fireworks. Again, all firsts for Andrew. He absolutely loved tubing. We weren't sure what he'd do during the fireworks. There was a big bang and then the sky was lit up. Andrew turned around, looked at Aaron and said,"This is fun." He had a huge grin on his face throughout the rest of the display.

Yes, that was a whirlwind and we didn't plan it that way. We all survived and had so much fun as a family. We did have a little bit of re-adjusting to do with Andrew after being away from home and having so many new things and people around, but it never takes long. He just gets a little bit of attitude, disobedience rises up a little more than usual and he becomes very independent, not wanting mommy's or daddy's help. Nobody else notices it besides us. Just a little bit of time holding mommy's or daddy's hand or sitting in one of our laps for a short time usually does the trick.

We love our kids!! It is so amazing still that Andrew is home with us!! We are so thankful to God that He truly handpicked Andrew for our family.